So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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