Cold hands, warm shart.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
