garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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