i wish my penis had a tongue
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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