i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I want to fling myself into the sun
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
