I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
