My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
