wrigley field is MILF paradise
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
