I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
