She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
