I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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