I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
