im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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