I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
