I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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