I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
