I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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