i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
