i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
