i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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