looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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