Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
