If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Im part way to drunk.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
