i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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