is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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