What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
