she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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