16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
