kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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