I wanna bring you to show and tell
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
