so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
