I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Mom said you looked used
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
