the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
