Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
