I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
