I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
