dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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