Its about making memories worth repressing
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
