I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
