At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize