I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
