Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
