i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
