By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
