He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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