After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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