Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
