everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
love makes seman taste better
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
