Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
