real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
