guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
