I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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