All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
