Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
