He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
