I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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