Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
