sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
