I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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