Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
