Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i now understand why vodka
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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