Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize