I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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