My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my vag is so smooth its legendary
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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