Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
