So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
