Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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