u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
