hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
