Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
