I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
